Relationship Experts Reveal 7 Habits Strong Women Should Never Tolerate In A Relationship

 

strong women

“A strong woman is a woman determined to do something others are determined not be done.” – Marge Piercy

Women tolerate all kinds of things in a relationship. When women get together and talk about their past relationships, they’re often appalled by all of the things they put up with. Thankfully, relationship experts have been listening and they’ve been able to compile a list of things that women should never tolerate in a relationship. Some of these things seem so normalized that many strong women don’t realize that it’s something they don’t need to put up with.

HERE ARE 7 THINGS STRONG WOMEN SHOULD NEVER TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP

1. NO KITCHEN KNOW-HOW

As charming as it might be to cook dinner for your partner every once in a while, not knowing how to cook isn’t actually a charming trait. A strong woman should never put up with someone who can’t cook themselves a meal or doesn’t know how to fend alone for a few days.

Women should be companions to their partners – not mothers. Not knowing how to cook is really, truly, a baseline for any adult. Otherwise, “This signals that he may not see you as an equal,” says Jennine Estes, M.F.T and author of Relationships In The Raw.

2. NOT CLEANING UP AFTER THEMSELVES

A woman in a relationship is not a maid or a housekeeper! If a man leaves his drawers all over the floor, his wet towel on the bathroom sink, and his socks outside the hamper, then he’s definitely not ready for an adult relationship. A strong woman should never have to tolerate picking up after a man every time she comes over. If he can’t clean up after himself, then he needs to do some growing up.

3. LACK OF COMPROMISE

Rex Tillerson once said, “Compromise on ethical conduct is not an option.” A strong woman should always have a relationship in which compromise is the preferred form of ending disagreements. No strong woman should ever tolerate being in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want to compromise. Compromise is one of the backbones of being in a serious relationship. There’s no need to tolerate a relationship where one person doesn’t want to give and only wants to take.

4. VERBAL ABUSE

Strong women may not realize that they’re being abused in a relationship, because the abuse might not be physical. Relationship experts all agree that this is one of the top things that strong women should never tolerate in a relationship. Their partners should all be speaking to them with respect. Strong women should never tolerate being spoken down to, condescended, insulted, or verbally humiliated in her own relationship.

5. UNSUPPORTIVE OF HER GOALS

Being in a relationship is like having a built-in support system. According to research by the Brigham Young University, “ambivalence in a relationship — the feeling that a partner may be unpredictable with his or her support or negativity — can take a quiet toll on the health of an individual.” A strong woman will have plenty of goals that she wants to achieve in her life.

A strong woman should have a partner who is supportive of those goals. If a man in a relationship is ever unsupportive of a strong woman’s goals, then that’s a red flag that the relationship isn’t going to work. Relationship experts agree that a strong woman should never tolerate an unsupportive partner.

6. DOESN’T HELP WITH THE CHILDREN

Sometimes, a relationship gets all the way to marriage and children before a strong woman realizes that she’s been tolerating unacceptable behavior. Strong women should never tolerate a man who doesn’t help out with the children. Parenthood should be a task that is shared among both partners, and a strong woman should never tolerate a man who doesn’t pull his share of the weight.

7. UNTRUSTWORTHY

A strong woman should always be able to trust her partner. Relationships survive on trust and communication. No one should feel like they can’t trust the person they love. A strong woman, then, should never tolerate being in a relationship with someone who can’t be trusted. She should never have to tolerate a man who tells lies – about himself, or his life, or about what he’s doing or who he is with.

Final thoughts

There are so many things in a relationship that no one should have to tolerate. Many women may not realize that the little annoyances in their relationships are actually pretty unacceptable. A strong woman should know all of her boundaries, desires, and wants in a relationship. She should have control of her life, and that includes controlling who she chooses as a partner. Relationship experts have been researching the types of things that should never be tolerated in a relationship, and these are the top behaviors. Strong women should not tolerate their partners exhibiting these things in a relationship.

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com

11 Behaviors In A Relationship That Reveal Untrue Love

soulmate

You met that great person a few months ago and everything on the surface seems swell. However, something in the back of your mind is telling you that the oasis of love seems like a mirage, yet you are not able to quite put your finger on it. Have you really found the sweet water of love amongst hundreds of square miles of dating desert? These red flags tell you what to look out for in the grander scheme of things.:

11 SIGNS YOU HAVEN’T FOUND TRUE LOVE YET (EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE)

1. THEY DO NOT READ YOUR MIND.

No, not like Mel Gibson in “What Women Want”, but how can anyone possibly enjoy a special relationship with a person who do not have those “you read my mind” moments every once in a while? Having these moments shows how strong a connection you both have, and the feeling when it happens is the ultimate in soulmates. It almost makes the intangible tangible. One look is all it takes for fireworks to go off in your minds. Of course, it is not the be all and end all but not having this happen is not a good start.

2. THERE IS ZERO CHEMISTRY.

We need physics to get to chemistry. Therefore, if your magnet of attraction is not functioning properly, how can there be a chemical reaction in their brain? This applies even more so when you are in a relationship. No chemistry makes a relationship go stale and be lifeless. We only get a maximum of two years’ worth of chemistry from Mother Nature to start relationship between soulmates, after that we must put in the effort. However, people go on autopilot romantically because “we have them”. Unless you are a necrophiliac, this becomes a soulless relationship.

3. THEY NEVER COMPLIMENT YOU.

The late Mother Teresa once said that “there is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” We want the people that we care about to feel great, do we not? The best way to do that is to compliment them. An example for the ladies: “You look beautiful in that pink dress.” And the fellas: “You are so amazing taking me to the theme park on your day off.” It is a little reminder that they are indeed important people in our lives. If that even rarely happens, let alone wanting to bring you down a peg or two, then you must ask yourself why.

4. YOU FEEL JUDGEMENT ON A CONSISTENT LEVEL.

“That cheese you are eating stinks more than your awful smelly feet. Put it away and take a shower.” Being judgemental is like cyanide for relationships, except the poison is gradual and it gnaws away at what you have with your beau/belle. Carolyn Hidalgo of Tiny Buddha agrees: “Many believe love is putting up with, sacrificing, tolerating, or suffering in silence thinking their commitment is proof of their love. This is not love.” Do you think that this constitutes a special relationship? Hidalgo adds: “Understanding, seeing, hearing, and accepting someone for who they are is love.” In other words, talking to your sweetheart and conveying your dislikes in a calm manner can promote individuality within the two-person union. Mel Gibson is shouting “Freedom!”

5. YOUR DEARLY BELOVED SEEMS TO FORGET YOUR EXISTENCE.

Out of sight, out of mind? You should not be. They say that relationships should be fifty-fifty, but does your squeeze put a hundred percent into their fifty? Receiving that text in the morning tells you that you are in their thoughts. Bringing soup or going to the pharmacy for you when you are unwell implies that they are there in the bad times as well. Remembering the great time you both had at the beach and laughing about how they beat you at the game you both made up (you let them win, of course!). These are just three examples of many of how much you mean to them. It is all about how high you are in their list of priorities.

6. YOU FEEL THE NEED TO RETYPE TEXT MESSAGES.

Does it feel like you are writing a Pulitzer Prize novel texting your honey bunny something that normally takes five seconds? Type, delete, start over. Rinse, wash, repeat. Worrying about what to say in a text should worry you and set off alarm bells in your head. Soulmates just text each other and if the correct message was not conveyed, they explain themselves.

7. YOU ARE FINDING YOURSELF FOREVER EXPLAINING THEIR ACTIONS.

Friends and family mention something to you about their behaviour and you explain why, making you feel like you are caught in the middle. Kim Quindlen of the Thought Catalog writes: “You make excuses for why they treat you the way they do. You have to reassure your loved ones that you’re with the right person, instead of them being able to see it themselves from the way you two behave around each other and the way your partner treats you.” It does not matter whether their behaviour caused tension, anger, confusion, perplexity, or just plain old curiosity, soulmates do not need to do this on behalf of their other half.

8. NO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP ON THEIR PART.

Relationships are a one-man tango, said no-one ever. There is no hundred percent in their fifty share of the relationship, not even in the smaller stuff. “You invite them to come out to trivia with your friends, or to go to your family’s house for dinner. Sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t, but they never seem too excited about it,” says Quindlen.

Soulmates jump at the chance to spend quality time with you and the people you hold dear. If that is not the case, then you will no doubt also experience the following, as Quindlen informs: “And they never make much of an effort to incorporate you into their life either. You know very little about their friends and family, even though you’d like to.” You are not invited to the family home where Trevor or Trixie grew up or hang out with the crazy crew on a Saturday night, keeping you at arm’s length. Thus leading to Quindlen’s conclusion: “And sometimes, it feels as though you’re leading two separate lives that barely even overlap one another.”

9. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

This one is self-explanatory but seeing as though we love our readers… You are in a relationship because the other person makes you feel good when you are in each other’s company. No-one really believes the rom-com movie hype of beaming with happiness, unless you are coming back from touring Iraq. No matter the differences or physical distances, they should always be happy to see you, and vice versa. If not, distances will not just be physical. You will feel miles away from your love dove even though they are right next to you. Is that a soulmate to you? Hint: Check the Cambridge Dictionary definition above.

10. NO APPARENT INTEREST IN THE FUTURE AS A COUPLE.

Why are you in a committed relationship if there is no long-term future? It is like having no mozzarella cheese on a pizza or no Jolly Roger flag on a pirate ship. We are not talking about marriage, at least not yet, but having the same life goals and pursuing them together. Of course, a soulmate will talk about the future at length, what they want and how they intend to get it – whatever “it” is. If this is not happening, there is no way that they can be your soul-matey. Arrrrrrrr, me hearties!

11. THERE IS AN UNEASY SENSE OF INSECURITY WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP.

The first two words that spring to mind are: “on” and “edge”. That is what insecurity feels like in a relationship. You do not want to set them off, do you? You are afraid of what Trevor or Trixie might think if you say they are wrong or you contradict them in any way. With a soulmate, everything seems plain sailing. You talk with candour, respecting each other’s points to of view. Naturally, one can get upset or angry with opinions, but understanding soon follows.

As True Love Dates’ Debra Fileta points out, “Remember, you have the power to teach people how they can and can’t treat you.” If you do not like something, you either change it or compromise by interaction with the other relationship faction. Only you will know what to do if you find these signs but if you are stuck, look no further than the Cambridge Dictionary’s definition of a soulmate. Good luck, mate!

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com

10 Things To Tell Your Partner When Your Relationship Is Difficult

relationship

Things are tough at home right now and have been for some time. Do you press the eject button or do you press on?

Before throwing your partner’s things in a bin liner and calling a divorce lawyer, let us take a trip to the beautiful islands of Hawaii. From Wooloongabba, Wyoming or Warwickshire, envision the warmth of the sand on Waikiki Beach between your toes with the refreshing Trade Winds gently blowing. Let your imagination comfort you for a moment and let us be one with the indigenous Hawaiian people, for part of our journey today involves teachings from Ho’oponopono. As we go through the list, the parts of Ho’oponopono will become apparent and will be explained in relation to how to remedy difficulty in relationships.

10 THINGS TO TELL YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFICULT

1. “WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM ME RIGHT NOW?”

Here is the normal scenario in Wyoming, Wooloongabba or Warwickshire: There is a disagreement or argument brewing.Wife wants to fight. Husband wants to withdraw. She gives chase, hoping for a reaction and he normally tries to stay silent. Naturally, these roles can be reversed.

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you want to connect, not withdraw or avoid. This will in turn calm them down, which gives way to civilised discussion and possible problem solving.

2. “HOW CAN I HELP TO TAKE SOME OF THE BURDEN OFF TODAY?”

The response could be as simple as a “please listen to me” after a long, hard day or as intimate as giving a nice back rub. This gives your partner an opportunity to let off steam in whichever way they choose. This shows that you are as cool as a cucumber under pressure, and not going bananas like a crazed monkey!

Asking the above question to your partner tells them subtly that you care for them despite what has gone on between the pair of you. You are in a relationship and both parties have the right to benefits by being in one.

3. “I’M SORRY.”

Being specific as to why and how to improve for next time.

Grab your sun-screen and your beach towel, folks, it is time to make our first stop in Hawaii. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #1. Being sorry, or “minamina” in Hawaiian, because you know that you have done wrong and want to right that wrong, which breathes life into the lungs of a relationship, much like the aforementioned Trade Winds in the Hawaiian archipelago. Being specific about why you are sorry is very important because it disarms more powerfully and talking of improving on that foible can start to melt the Ice King/Queen.

Example: “I apologise for not taking out the trash last night, babe. I understand that the kitchen stinks because of my forgetful actions and I will be more aware next time.”

4. “THANK YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Staying in Hawai’i for this this one. This is Ho’oponopono Rule #3. Being grateful is such an appealing trait and makes you a more attractive person. It works in Wyoming, Warwickshire, Wooloongabba, or Waikiki Beach. It makes your significant other want to do more things with you and for you because you let them know that you appreciate them, and especially so if you are thanking them for mundane tasks – people do not expect it for those. This following example is like having your feet caressed by the warm Pacific Ocean waters on the Hawaiian beach. Mahalo!

Example: “Thank you so much for taking out the trash last night, babe. I really appreciate it when you take the time to do it, even though you have that important meeting with Akamai this morning.”

5. “I’M PROUD OF YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Knowing that you are doing well and having your good work appreciated at home is deeply rewarding. Feeling valued with your loved ones will give an ego boost, making the smallest of us feel like the tallest. This is accentuated by big news, like a promotion or playing/coaching a grassroots sports team, or even better when your partner was brave in the face of fear. Imagine your honey bunny saving someone’s life, the ultimate life accomplishment!

Example: “I am so proud of you for sticking up for that elderly lady. Many people would have swerved it, but not my boo. You are my hero and our kids are lucky to have a mum/dad like you.”

6. “OUR KIDS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A MUM/DAD LIKE YOU.”

Being told that you are a great role model for Trixie and Trevor is the stand-out compliment one human being can give to another, knowing how hard a task being a parent is. If it comes from your other half, expect them to do somersaults in the living room, nevermind having a spring in their step!

Example: See Number 5.

7. “PLEASE FORGIVE ME.”

Being specific as to why.

The whole thing of asking for forgiveness and giving it is one of the hardest things a couple goes through between themselves. To take the edge off things, we are back in Hawai’i with Ho’oponopono Rule #2. This is the continuation of Number 3, mending the damage already done, but Operation Kala is well under way. It is like climbing Diamond Head volcano on O’ahu; it is an arduous, sometimes scary journey, but the view from the top is spectacular.

Example: “Please forgive me for eyeing up that Hawaiian lady in the grass skirt in front of you. I was insensitive and made you uncomfortable.”

8. “I LOVE YOU.”

Being specific as to why.

Unfortunately, this is our last visit to the Hawaiian archipelago with Ho’oponopono Rule #4. This is the sunset on a beautiful day of learning and discovery. To say “I love you”, or in Hawaiian “Aloha no au ia ‘oe”, is something that is sacred within a family and saying it every time all adds up in the brownie points bag. Do not forget to be specific about why you love your darling.

Example: “I love you because you are such a gentleman with my sister.”

Time to board the plane in Honolulu back to reality, unless Hawai’i is your reality in which you are one lucky son/daughter of a gun!

9. “I’M GOING TO MAKE MORE OF AN EFFORT TO…”

This is important because your beau/belle deserves a partner who is always changing and growing as a person, who in turn becomes a better partner. How much of a difference would it make to your relationship if you say you will change for the better, and then back those words up with action?

Example: “I will make more of an effort with the kids’ homework. I know I should have done Trixie’s twelve times table yesterday. I will come home early today and help her with her spellings.”

10. “THANK YOU FOR BEING SOMEONE I CAN RESPECT.”

What are the odds on a relationship staying alive with someone you do not respect and admire? “Without respect, there is no love,” says the old adage. Knowing that you are respected at home breeds self-esteem, which can be transmitted into other areas of your life. A respected person is a happy person, after all.

Aloha!

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com