The Singlemost Important Thing Married Couples Can Do To Stay In Love

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Young love is a magical place to be and makes for some very exciting and thrilling memories. The emotional rush. The longing to be with each other when you are apart. The excitement and anticipation of seeing them again. It is very addictive and some people chase that feeling all of their lives. They want to feel the warmth of that bonfire of emotional energy. Bonfires are just not sustainable over a very long time. Like huge stars, they burn hot and fast but then collapse into a black hole of pain and anger. Other stars, like other loves, burn on for a long time. They are stable in their warmth and in their intensity. Married couples who last are like this second kind of star. They may not burn as bright, but they burn for far far longer than their counterparts.

How do married couples stay in love for the long haul? They are grateful to have one another in their lives. They do not take each other for granted. Every little thing their partner does is a gift to them. No act is too small to warrant appreciation, because they know that these little things are small manifestations of their love for one another. Every dinner is a banquet, no matter how small or hastily prepared, because it was made with love and devotion for your partner. Every chore completed is a vast burden off of your back.

When you are grateful, you really appreciate every little thing that someone does for you. You don’t sweat the little stuff and you don’t complain because things are not absolutely perfect. You are deeply grateful for everything your partner does for you, your family and your friends.

THE SINGLEMOST IMPORTANT THING MARRIED PEOPLE CAN DO TO STAY IN LOVE

These small acts of love and devotion every single day put fuel on the fire of your love. They feed the flames with small acts of kindness, empathy and forgiveness. It is easy to just throw wood on the fire, right? You have obviously never had to keep a fire going in the middle of a fierce winter storm. It is when the simple and the easy things become hard that the fire needs tending the most. In the wilderness, letting the fire go out means death in some cases and mutilation through frostbite in others. In a loving relationship, it can mean the same things.

If you neglect the fire, then the love will die as it slowly burns what fuel remains until eventually, the love is all burned up. And when the fire goes out, the relationship is just as dead as a cold campfire. But, instead of losing fingers and toes, you lose a chunk of your heart that you can’t get back.

Just like that campfire in the darkness of the wilderness, you have to feed the fire of your relationship. You do not feed it out of fear or out of love of the flames, but in gratitude for its warmth and security. You are thankful for the light, the warmth and the security that it provides. When you are both feeding the fire of your relationship and are grateful for what it gives, then the fire stays alive even in the harshest weather. But if you get lazy or neglectful, it is easy to let the fire burn out, and once it is out, you may not be able to ignite that fire again.

Life will bring many storms that will try to snuff out your fire. You can spend your time trying to keep yourself warm and dry and let your partner fend for themselves, or you can snuggle with your partner by the fire and share the only poncho you have. If you want love to last a lifetime, then you have to share your warmth with each other and tend the fire together as a team.

When you are truly grateful for your partner, you will sacrifice for them instead of sacrificing them for yourself. When you are grateful for your partner, you will share your meager supplies with them rather than hoard them all for yourself in a vain attempt to survive. When you are grateful, you realize that you are stronger together than apart and you appreciate your partner sticking with you through the rough times. You might carry them today, but when you are grateful, you know they might just as easily be carrying you tomorrow.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ~ Epicurus

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com

7 Signs He Is In Love With You, Even if He Doesn’t Say it

men-in-love-power-of-positivity

Men and women display their love and affection in different ways. Most women say, “I love you,” profusely and often, while most men show their deep affinity in their day to day actions.

It can be confusing at times, but that’s because the truth is, men and women think differently. So, we decide to research for you and come up with a list of seven common sets of behaviors that directly demonstrate that he is in love with you, even if he doesn’t say it.

We truly believe that love is in what you do, not always in what you say. It’s easy to say, “I love you,” but true love is demonstrated in action. You know?

7 SIGNS HE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU:

1. HE ISN’T AFRAID TO MAKE SACRIFICES FOR YOU.

Making sacrifices for other people is easier to do when its for someone we care about. It takes selflessness, maturity, and most of all love. Relationships need a balance of mutual sacrifice or one party is left unhappy.

Men who are in love feel tremendous discomfort at the thought of their lady being unhappy, and if it’s something they can prevent, they will. Sometimes they will even go above and beyond to make something work out, just because it’s really important to their partner.

If your man can make sacrifices for your happiness, that is just one way he is saying, “I love you”, without actually saying it.

2. HE LISTENS TO YOU.

Studies have found that women are much better listeners than men.  So, when a man not only hears you but actively pays attention and responds – a skill called active listening – you can have confidence that he cares.

Taking it a next step further, if he acts on your conversations, he’s smitten. <3

 

3. HE SHOWS HIS VULNERABILITY.

Men are generally cautious when it comes to showing any behavior that can be perceived by others as a weakness. They feel that they need to keep a perfect facade of strength.

But when a man is in love, he begins to let his guard down. He becomes more comfortable and allows his real feelings to show. Vulnerability can take time, but if he’s shown even an ounce, he trusts you enough to let his guard down around you.

4. HE LOVES HOW YOU LOOK ON YOUR “WORST DAYS”.

Most people put effort into looking their absolute very best during those early dates. We want to look and feel good when meeting up with a potential life long partner.

But, once the actual relationship spawns and we spend more time with each other, comfort levels build, and our need to impress declines sharply. We’re free to wander around in our pajamas, no makeup or messy hair.

The big take away here is that when a man loves a woman, he’ll think she is beautiful no matter what she looks like. 

So when he tells you, “You’re beautiful,” when you feel like a mess, take it for what it is and remember that is the equivalent to saying, “I love you.”

5. HE’S PROUD OF YOU.

When a man really loves a woman, he shows it by bragging about you. Yep, that’s right a real man isn’t shy about saying how proud he is of you.

Whether you’re a fantastic mother, a hard worker, or achieving your goals, you can rest assured that your efforts don’t go unnoticed to the man that is in love. So when he tells you, it’s his way of saying, “I love you.”

 

6. HE STICKS UP FOR YOU.

This one’s obvious one, but very important. First lets be clear, if he doesn’t stick up for you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This is a hard one. Most of the time drama and controversy can arise with a close family member or friend.

Most men like to avoid controversy, so if he defends you, that’s big and it’s definitely his way of saying, “I love you.”

7. HE TREATS YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH RESPECT.

This is the last one, but it is surely one of the MOST important. It’ s a given that in any relationship, a man should automatically show you, your family and friends respect.  The reason is simple; he cares for you and he needs to properly treat them with care as well.

While he may not like every single one of your family members or  “catty” friends, he’ll keep his opinion to himself, because he knows how much they mean to you. Creating a good report with them is definitely his way of showing you he loves you, without actually saying it.

All in all, the take away here is to remember to appreciate all of the little things that he does and realize that they are acts of love. He may not say he loves you as much as you say it, but his way of displaying affection is biologically different than yours. Deal?!

How many of these behaviors does your man display? 

If he displays them all, he could be a keeper. 😉

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com

11 Behaviors In A Relationship That Reveal Untrue Love

soulmate

You met that great person a few months ago and everything on the surface seems swell. However, something in the back of your mind is telling you that the oasis of love seems like a mirage, yet you are not able to quite put your finger on it. Have you really found the sweet water of love amongst hundreds of square miles of dating desert? These red flags tell you what to look out for in the grander scheme of things.:

11 SIGNS YOU HAVEN’T FOUND TRUE LOVE YET (EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE)

1. THEY DO NOT READ YOUR MIND.

No, not like Mel Gibson in “What Women Want”, but how can anyone possibly enjoy a special relationship with a person who do not have those “you read my mind” moments every once in a while? Having these moments shows how strong a connection you both have, and the feeling when it happens is the ultimate in soulmates. It almost makes the intangible tangible. One look is all it takes for fireworks to go off in your minds. Of course, it is not the be all and end all but not having this happen is not a good start.

2. THERE IS ZERO CHEMISTRY.

We need physics to get to chemistry. Therefore, if your magnet of attraction is not functioning properly, how can there be a chemical reaction in their brain? This applies even more so when you are in a relationship. No chemistry makes a relationship go stale and be lifeless. We only get a maximum of two years’ worth of chemistry from Mother Nature to start relationship between soulmates, after that we must put in the effort. However, people go on autopilot romantically because “we have them”. Unless you are a necrophiliac, this becomes a soulless relationship.

3. THEY NEVER COMPLIMENT YOU.

The late Mother Teresa once said that “there is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” We want the people that we care about to feel great, do we not? The best way to do that is to compliment them. An example for the ladies: “You look beautiful in that pink dress.” And the fellas: “You are so amazing taking me to the theme park on your day off.” It is a little reminder that they are indeed important people in our lives. If that even rarely happens, let alone wanting to bring you down a peg or two, then you must ask yourself why.

4. YOU FEEL JUDGEMENT ON A CONSISTENT LEVEL.

“That cheese you are eating stinks more than your awful smelly feet. Put it away and take a shower.” Being judgemental is like cyanide for relationships, except the poison is gradual and it gnaws away at what you have with your beau/belle. Carolyn Hidalgo of Tiny Buddha agrees: “Many believe love is putting up with, sacrificing, tolerating, or suffering in silence thinking their commitment is proof of their love. This is not love.” Do you think that this constitutes a special relationship? Hidalgo adds: “Understanding, seeing, hearing, and accepting someone for who they are is love.” In other words, talking to your sweetheart and conveying your dislikes in a calm manner can promote individuality within the two-person union. Mel Gibson is shouting “Freedom!”

5. YOUR DEARLY BELOVED SEEMS TO FORGET YOUR EXISTENCE.

Out of sight, out of mind? You should not be. They say that relationships should be fifty-fifty, but does your squeeze put a hundred percent into their fifty? Receiving that text in the morning tells you that you are in their thoughts. Bringing soup or going to the pharmacy for you when you are unwell implies that they are there in the bad times as well. Remembering the great time you both had at the beach and laughing about how they beat you at the game you both made up (you let them win, of course!). These are just three examples of many of how much you mean to them. It is all about how high you are in their list of priorities.

6. YOU FEEL THE NEED TO RETYPE TEXT MESSAGES.

Does it feel like you are writing a Pulitzer Prize novel texting your honey bunny something that normally takes five seconds? Type, delete, start over. Rinse, wash, repeat. Worrying about what to say in a text should worry you and set off alarm bells in your head. Soulmates just text each other and if the correct message was not conveyed, they explain themselves.

7. YOU ARE FINDING YOURSELF FOREVER EXPLAINING THEIR ACTIONS.

Friends and family mention something to you about their behaviour and you explain why, making you feel like you are caught in the middle. Kim Quindlen of the Thought Catalog writes: “You make excuses for why they treat you the way they do. You have to reassure your loved ones that you’re with the right person, instead of them being able to see it themselves from the way you two behave around each other and the way your partner treats you.” It does not matter whether their behaviour caused tension, anger, confusion, perplexity, or just plain old curiosity, soulmates do not need to do this on behalf of their other half.

8. NO WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP ON THEIR PART.

Relationships are a one-man tango, said no-one ever. There is no hundred percent in their fifty share of the relationship, not even in the smaller stuff. “You invite them to come out to trivia with your friends, or to go to your family’s house for dinner. Sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t, but they never seem too excited about it,” says Quindlen.

Soulmates jump at the chance to spend quality time with you and the people you hold dear. If that is not the case, then you will no doubt also experience the following, as Quindlen informs: “And they never make much of an effort to incorporate you into their life either. You know very little about their friends and family, even though you’d like to.” You are not invited to the family home where Trevor or Trixie grew up or hang out with the crazy crew on a Saturday night, keeping you at arm’s length. Thus leading to Quindlen’s conclusion: “And sometimes, it feels as though you’re leading two separate lives that barely even overlap one another.”

9. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

This one is self-explanatory but seeing as though we love our readers… You are in a relationship because the other person makes you feel good when you are in each other’s company. No-one really believes the rom-com movie hype of beaming with happiness, unless you are coming back from touring Iraq. No matter the differences or physical distances, they should always be happy to see you, and vice versa. If not, distances will not just be physical. You will feel miles away from your love dove even though they are right next to you. Is that a soulmate to you? Hint: Check the Cambridge Dictionary definition above.

10. NO APPARENT INTEREST IN THE FUTURE AS A COUPLE.

Why are you in a committed relationship if there is no long-term future? It is like having no mozzarella cheese on a pizza or no Jolly Roger flag on a pirate ship. We are not talking about marriage, at least not yet, but having the same life goals and pursuing them together. Of course, a soulmate will talk about the future at length, what they want and how they intend to get it – whatever “it” is. If this is not happening, there is no way that they can be your soul-matey. Arrrrrrrr, me hearties!

11. THERE IS AN UNEASY SENSE OF INSECURITY WITHIN THE RELATIONSHIP.

The first two words that spring to mind are: “on” and “edge”. That is what insecurity feels like in a relationship. You do not want to set them off, do you? You are afraid of what Trevor or Trixie might think if you say they are wrong or you contradict them in any way. With a soulmate, everything seems plain sailing. You talk with candour, respecting each other’s points to of view. Naturally, one can get upset or angry with opinions, but understanding soon follows.

As True Love Dates’ Debra Fileta points out, “Remember, you have the power to teach people how they can and can’t treat you.” If you do not like something, you either change it or compromise by interaction with the other relationship faction. Only you will know what to do if you find these signs but if you are stuck, look no further than the Cambridge Dictionary’s definition of a soulmate. Good luck, mate!

Source:www.powerofpositivity.com